Compliments and Gender

 

Peter Wogan.

Department of Anthropology

Willamette University

 

 

ABSTRACT:

            How do gender relations and other social factors influence the way men and women compliment each other? This paper addresses this question by reporting on a recent sociolinguistic investigation that builds on previous research on compliments (e.g. Herbert 1990; Holmes 1988; Wolfson and Manes 1980). 235 compliments were recorded over a two-week period on a college campus, and statistically-significant gender differences were discovered, notably in terms of compliment topics. Males gave females almost twice as many compliments on appearance (as opposed to skill, possession, etc.) as females gave males: 52% vs. 26%, respectively. The question was: Can this pattern be explained by differences in the way males and females view compliments?

 

            Previous research has focused more on locating quantitative patterns than asking such questions about meaning. Several methodologies were used in this study to address this problem: 1) unlike previous studies, which recorded compliments in writing, compliments were tape recorded as they occurred in everyday speech (subjects were initially only informed that "language patterns in the U.S." were being studied); 2) the recordings were subsequently played back to compliment givers and receivers, who were then interviewed extensively; 3) the studied population was relatively homogenous in terms of age, status, and ethnicity. This approach made it possible to gain a reliable record of compliments, sensitive to prosodic features, and to delve into the motivations and attitudes that influenced patterns in compliment behavior.

 

            Based on this combination of qualitative and quantitative data, we found several explanations for the differences in compliment topics: 1) females were more guarded for fear of having compliments misinterpreted as expressions of romantic interest; 2) males were expected to initiate romantic relations more openly than females; 3) because of same-gender compliment patterns, in which male-male compliments are much rarer than female-female compliments on appearance, males were not socialized to respond to or expect appearance compliments that do not express romantic interest; 4) there was an expectation among both males and females that females would place more importance on appearance than males.

 

            Some of these explanations (e.g. #4) dovetail with previous research on gender roles in the U.S. in general. But the importance of rules for expressing romantic interest (#1-3) has not been emphasized in previous studies of compliments for various reasons, including the following: 1) studies have often mixed compliments from college campuses with other settings (workplaces), where different dynamics prevail; 2) other studies have paid less attention to participants' interpretations of gender roles and complimenting behavior.

 

            While previous research has effectively highlighted statistical differences in compliment behavior, this study concentrates on the factors that underlie such differences, particularly the influence on compliment topics of cultural rules for expressing romantic   

interest. In the process, the study contributes more generally to understanding of gender differences in communication. The picture that emerges is more consistent with traditional gender roles than might be expected among contemporary college students.

 

 

 

 

SAMPLE REFERENCES:

Herbert, Robert, "Sex-Based Differences in Compliment Behavior," Language in Society 19:201-224, 1990.

 

Holmes, Janet, "Paying Compliments: A Sex-Preferential Politeness Strategy," Journal of Pragmatics 12:445-465, 1988.

 

Wolfson, Neesa, and Joan Manes, "The Compliment as a Social Strategy," Papers in Linguistics: International Journal of Human Communication 12:391-401, 1980.