Common Questions About the Male Orgasm

Does the strength of firmness of a man’s erection have anything to do with the intensity of his orgasm?

No, the intensity of an orgasm is more related to psychological factors than to firmness of erection. The emotion the man feels at the moment of climax is the main determinant of his pleasure.

Why do men vary in their ability to maintain an erection? How wide is the range?

The range is very wide indeed, ranging from the man who can never really get an erection and the one who is able to maintain one for several hours. Men who regularly (a period of 6 to 12 months) are unable to maintain an erection sufficient for penetrative intercourse to satisfaction of both partners are said to have erectile dysfunction. Erectile disorder is a common problem among men, and the incidence of ED increases with age. Physical factors such as diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems, tobacco use , and psychological factors such as stress and anxiety, can contribute to a man’s ability to maintain an erection.

Will a male really suffer physical discomfort if he gets an erection and finds no release?

"Blue balls" is a slang term referring to testicular aching that may occur when the blood that fills the vessels in a male's genital area during sexual arousal is not dissipated by orgasm. When a man becomes sexually excited, the arteries carrying blood to the genital area enlarge, while the veins carrying blood from the genital area are more constricted than in the non-aroused state. This uneven blood flow causes an increase in volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the penis becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood. If the male reaches orgasm and ejaculates, the arteries and veins return to their normal size, the volume of blood in the genitals is reduced and the penis and testicles return to their usual size rather quickly. If ejaculation does not occur there may be a lingering sensation of heaviness, aching, or discomfort in the testicles due to the continued vasocongestion.

The condition usually does not last long and the level of pain associated with blue balls is usually minor and can be exaggerated. Most men have been socialized to ejaculate when they get an erection during sexual activity. Failure to ejaculate and to feel orgasm often adds frustration and disappointment to the reality of the physical sensation.

Men are not alone in experiencing the discomfort of unrelieved vasocongestion. Women's genitals also become engorged with blood during sexual arousal and, like their male counterparts; women can experience pelvic heaviness and aching if they do not reach orgasm .

How do men and women’s orgasms differ in how they feel to him or her?

For both sexes the experience of orgasm can be an intense mixture of highly pleasurable sensations, but whether that experience differs from male to female has been the subject of considerable debate. This question was evaluated in two separate experimental analyses of orgasm description provided by college students. When compared using a standard psychological rating scale, women’s and men’s subjective descriptions of orgasm were indistinguishable in both investigations. Similar results were obtained in an earlier study, in which a group of 70 expert judges were unable to distinguish between the written orgasm reports of men and women .

Why do some men seem to experience the orgasm so much more intensely than the others do? Are they simply more theatrical in their reactions, or do some really feel more powerful physical sensations than others? And what determines a man’s capacity for having a good orgasm?

Yes, some men do receive more powerful sensations than others—as does the same man at different times. There are not only individual physiological differences here but also varying psychosexual elements. A man’s experience of orgasm with when he is having intercourse with a partner he loves will differ greatly, for example, from a climax reached with a casual sexual encounter.

A man’s capacity to have a good orgasm really varies from each individual. An individual’s background, lack of inhibitions, sufficient stimulation, past experiences, frequency of sexual activity, etc. all determine how good each orgasm will be for a man.

In heterosexual partnerships, do some men actually enjoy “holding back” so their female partner can achieve orgasm?

A major difference between male and female sexual behavior is that men tend to be goal oriented, while women are more likely to be process oriented; that is, the male drives directly toward the orgasm, but the female enjoys as much—or more—the process that leads to her climax. To men who are really at ease with their sexuality, it is not a matter either of “holding back” or of having their orgasm quickly, but rather the enjoyment of giving and receiving pleasure with a woman.

How long does it usually take a man to reach orgasm if he isn’t worried about pleasuring his partner?

A goal-oriented man can reach orgasm in less than a minute after erection if he is masturbating or is not trying to please his partner. “Pleasuring”, on the other hand, and delay of orgasm, may go on indefinitely. For most men, however, climax is reached from two to five minutes after intercourse begins.

Studies show that it’s often easier for a woman to get to orgasm through masturbation than through intercourse. Is this ever true for men?

Yes, but with a difference. For women, intercourse is a poor technique for achieving orgasm because there is less clitoral stimulation than there is in masturbation, manual stimulation by a partner, or oral sex. For men, however, there is much more specific penile stimulation during intercourse, and the action is not much different than in masturbation. Another difference involves the way both sexes experience manual stimulation: The male thinks in terms of penetration and can experience an approximation of that sensation through the caress of a partner’s hand. For women, manual stimulation is much different from penile-vaginal intercourse.

Can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating, or are the two the same?

Although many people equate male orgasm with ejaculation, these processes do not always take place simultaneously , and a man can climax without any ejaculate being released. Before puberty a boy might experience hundreds of “dry orgasms”—orgasms without any ejaculation of fluid . Among adult males, those who have multitude ejaculations to the point where the liquid content of the prostate gland and seminal vesicles are exhausted are nevertheless still capable of orgasm, but without ejaculation. Otherwise, in these males, ejaculation normally follows orgasm. Research also reveals that some men experience a series of nonejaculatory orgasms culminating in a final orgasm accompanied by expulsion of semen.

Why do some men have some plentiful ejaculations while others seem relatively sparse? Does this depend on age?

Not necessarily. Plentiful or sparse ejaculations depend on individual variation, for which there seems to be no specific reason. Age is one factor; however, as men grow older, the volume of their ejaculate diminishes.

Why can some men have multiple orgasms / repeated ejaculations during one act of intercourse, while others are “through” after just one?

After orgasm men typically enter a refractory period—a time when no amount of additional stimulation will result in orgasm. The length of the period ranges from minutes to days, depending on a variety of factors, such as age, frequency of previous sexual activity, and the degree of the man’s emotional closeness to and sexual desire for his partner.

Also, a man’s experience of multiple orgasms is somewhat different from a woman’s. In the male, each orgasm is distinct; after ejaculation the penis again grows turgid, excitement builds, and another climax is achieved. With women, however, multiple orgasms is often experienced as waves of more and more intense climaxes, each blending into the other, without marked build-up of excitement. The man’s experience might be compared to the up-and down levels of a graph, the woman’s to widening concentric circles.

I’ve heard that the longer a man has abstained from sexual activity, the faster he’s likely to come to climax—true or false?

True, in general. A man who has not had sex for a long time is bound to exhibit urgency when with a partner. The excitement is psychological, however, rather than physiological. Women similarly demonstrate the same urgency, probably for the same reason.

How long after ejaculation does it take to build up sperm count sufficient for fertilization?

It takes from twenty-four to forty-eight hours. However, this is not recommended as a reliable method to avoid unintended pregnancy.

Is there any certain way men feel after an orgasm? For example, do they feel energetic, tired, empty, loving, or what?

Each individual man of woman will feel different after orgasm as far as their energy level and psychological feelings. Research as shown a significant escalation of oxytocin, a neuropeptide produced in the hypothalamus that influences sexual response and interpersonal attraction, at the point of orgasm. Blood levels of this hormone remain elevated for a time after orgasm, possibly contributing to the emotional and erotic bonding of sexual partners and to a sense of shared attraction .

How common is it for males to be unable to orgasm?

The inability for a man to ejaculate during sexual activity is referred to as male orgasmic disorder. Eight percent of men experience this difficulty. Most men who are troubled by orgasmic disorder during intercourse are able to reach orgasm through masturbation or manual or oral stimulation from their partners. There are a variety of approaches to treating this disorder, which usually involve psychotherapy and behavioral approaches.

Is it possible for a man to “fake” an orgasm?

Faking orgasm reflects a conscious decision, most commonly to avoid disappointing or hurting a partner. Although women are usually associated with faking orgasms, a man could technically fake an orgasm. It is more difficult to fool a partner into believing ejaculation has taken place. If, however, the man is wearing a condom or if the amount of ejaculate the man releases is very small, then a man could possibly convince his partner that ejaculation had taken place when it hadn’t. Some factors reported by both men and women related to faking orgasm include a desire to get sex over with, poor communication or limited knowledge of sexual techniques, a need for partner approval, and an attempt to hide a deteriorating relationship.

Is it more difficult for a man to reach orgasm as he gets older?

Most aging males continue to experience considerable pleasure from their orgasmic responses. In fact, 73% of older men in one study reported that orgasm was “very important” in their sexual experiences . As males get older, they may experience a decline in the intensity of their orgasms; a decrease in the number of muscular contractions occurring during orgasm; and the seminal fluid is usually less copious and somewhat thinner in consistency. In addition, older males may take longer to reach erection and orgasm, and their erections may not be as firm.

Is it true that smoking and/or alcohol inhibit a man’s ability to have orgasm?

Although society, including the advertising industry, sometimes equates alcohol and tobacco use to sensuality and sex appeal, neither of these drugs have aphrodisiac properties. Far from being a stimulant, alcohol has a depressing effect on higher brain center and thus reduces cortical inhibitions such as fear and guilt that often block sexual expression, as well as impair our cognition leading to riskier sexual practices. While a small amount of alcohol lowers the level of inhibition so that men (and women) grow more relaxed and calm, consumption of significant amounts of alcohol can have severe negative effects on sexual functioning, including: reduced sexual arousal, decreased pleasure and intensity of orgasm, and increased difficulty in obtaining orgasm, and these go for both men and women . There is evidence that smoking can significantly retard sexual motivation and function by constricting blood vessels and that nicotine reduces testosterone levels in the blood.

Many people say that the size of a man’s penis doesn’t affect his or his partner’s pleasure—unless his penis is either inordinately small or big. What about the size of a woman’s vagina? Does a “tight” vagina yield the greatest pleasure, and does “loose” mean the man doesn’t get enjoyment?

Yes, “tightness” may produce a better feeling for the male, but “looseness” doesn’t necessarily mean he will enjoy intercourse less, since so many other factors are involved, including psychological ones. The vagina is very elastic. As the penis is inserted, the vaginal walls expand far enough to accommodate it. If the walls have good muscle tone, the penis will be held firmly inside. There are muscle exercises, called Kegals, a woman can use to build up muscle tone, tightening the muscles around the vagina with only a few minutes of exercise several times a day. In a few weeks, the muscle tone will be built up.

Age makes a difference in muscle tone, of course; it diminishes as we grow older. Having children also affects the muscles around the vagina, stretching them and eventually causing them to lose some of their original elasticity. If there is too much perineal repair (scarring of the area between the vagina and the anus) as the result of childbirth, further loss of elasticity may result.

If a woman wears a diaphragm or an IUD, can the male feel it during intercourse, and if so does it affect or diminish his pleasure?

A man may be able to feel the threads of an IUD, but not the IUD itself, since IUDs are placed in the uterus and a man’s penis can not reach beyond a woman’s cervix. A man’s pleasure may be diminished if he feels the “threads” of the device protruding into the vagina from the uterus. Sometimes he will rub up against the diaphragm, especially if it happensto be poorly fitted, which could interfere with sexual pleasure.

Most men, athletes and creative people particularly, seem to feel that an orgasm saps their strength. Is this true?

No, but there appears to be a no way to kill this myth. We still find coaches sequestering athletes from wives and girlfriends before athletic events, and sex is still blamed for a star’s poor performance. Yet there is not the slightest shred of scientific evidence to support this notion. In fact, during my years with Dr. Kinsey (Dr. Pomeroy was Director of Field Research for the Kinsey studies and interviewed more than 40 percent of the 18,000 histories taken); we interviewed one noted athlete who broke a national track record only an hour after he had masturbated to relieve his pre-meet tension. The idea that vital quantities of energy are lost during climax isn’t based on fact. Actually, the energy expended in an orgasm is about equivalent of that used by walking up a flight of stairs or jogging a block.

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