Hard C.O.R.E. Ways to Avoid Regret

Use the CORE model with a partner.

• C = Clarify your intentions: Know what you want. Be specific. Use "I" messages.
• O = Discuss options: Compromise. Be even more specific.
• R = Reach an agreement: Are you compromising your values? Are they compromising theirs? Come to an agreement on what will or will not go down.
• E = Enjoy or exit: If an agreement is reached, enjoy those activities. If an agreement is not reached, negotiate more or leave.

When to use the CORE model:

Example 1: With a potential sexual partner.
If one person wants to have sex and the other doesn’t, lack of communication can lead to a regretted sexual experience. The CORE model is one good way to get the conversation started: Why does one person want to have sex? Why does the other person not want to have sex? Who knows... they may be willing to do something that you hadn’t thought of.

Example 2: With a friend.
One friend wants to go to a party and the other one doesn’t, lack of communication can lead to regretted experiences. The CORE model can help in this situation: Why doesn’t one friend want to go to the party? How can you compromise based on that information? Who knows... they could be your designated driver.

The Point is:

Stand up for your values by communicating. If intentions are clarified more options will be discussed. With more options available an agreement is more likely to be reached. Regretted experiences can be avoided!!!

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